Tuesday, March 1, 2011

In Which She Says, "Too far? I think that was way too far."

I make the rules. I break the rules. I do what I want. I'm bored. You can only do Charlie Sheen Madlibs so many times before you run out of creative "violent verb"s.
Blah. Blah. Blah. In the interest of full-disclosure and credit and what not, I've been doing this. I got it from here.

What type of cell phone do you have and how would you rate it?
I have a Sony Ericsson... um... thing. It has a built-in Walkman doohickey and I like it very much. By most standards, it is not a fancy phone and anyone else would be itching for a new one. But my previous phones are so ridiculous that I'm still pleased with this guy. I got him when I renewed my plan with AT&T. So, there's a bonus answer for an unasked question: AT&T. I realize that I am of the minority here when I say this, but I have never had trouble with them. I've always gotten incredible coverage and their customer service people are kind.

What has been your most serious injury?
The summer before my kindergarten year, my older brother broke my arm. He broke my left arm. You'd think that would make me a right-handed person or even ambidextrous but you'd be wrong. What it made me was completely useless. I remember my dad feeding me a banana. Probably re-evaluating some life choices while I happily chewed and occasionally said, "More, thanks."

What is one movie you hate and why?
Transformers. There wasn't a second of that film where I didn't think about dying.

How many email addresses do you have?
I have one that I actually use, one that I send all the junk mail to, one that I never shut down and one at work. So, four? At work I have to ask people for their email address and you would be shocked at how many people [lie like the lying liars that they are and tell me they] don't actually have even one.

What website do you waste the most time on?
I don't consider Facebooking as a waste of time. I waste my time at Tastespotting. Now, that is a waste of time. I'm never going to carve little faces into my Baybell cheese or fry a whole fish--eyeballs and everything. Nope.

Which mexican restaurant makes the best salsa?
I... I don't know. I don't care about this question so, instead, I'll pretend that you asked me about which coffee shop makes a coffee that you think about way too often. The coffee shop that makes you want to drive to Denver, Colorado just for one more taste of the delightful nectar (I know what you're thinking in your brain, you, and you'd better knock it off), the answer would be that I don't know. I don't remember the name of that place. (Update: I heard from a reliable source that it was called Kaladi Bros. Coffee. Let's see if I can be awesome and provide you with a link. You're welcome.)

What is your dream car?
This is a question that girls have answers to? My dream car would be one that was paid off and had affordable insurance. Was new enough that I don't have to worry about it crapping out on me but not so new that I'm showing off. Lots of windows. If I could get a car like Doug Funny's mom drove, that would be ideal.

If you could spend up to $100 with no strings or restrictions or guilt, what would you buy?
Ugh. Only $100. I was going to say new bedding but to get the ohmahgah-I-wanna-die-in-this-bed-don't-ever-make-me-leave type of sheets, you need a little more than $100. Or maybe $100 and Hot FedEx guy. Too far? I think that was way too far. But... I'ma leave it. He's hot, you guys! And at this point, he's kind of a mascot on the blog. So, it stays.

To answer your question, I would buy a set of hot-rollers, fancy tampons and new socks.

What is your favorite board game?
Boxers or Briefs! I like games where there aren't any real winners.

Except the last time that I played Cranium, I experienced the most incredible game-winning play ever. I was on a team of winners. These winners were named Steven and Libby. It was late and Steven was, frankly, sick and tired of playing this game. He was curled up on the floor with a pillow. I did all that I could to pull us along until something came up that required my partner. It was the last play--charades. Now, that's a two-person job. I nudged him awake and said, "this is it--if we win this, you can go to bed." With a grunt, Steven pulled the card from the deck. Stood up, staring at me with eyes of sheer irritation. Eyes that said, "I'm doing this because I'm your friend but I don't like it." He held the pillow in front of himself. Dropped the pillow. Dropped himself and resumed his slumber. I threw my hands up in the air and screamed, "Gravity!!" His hand came up for a high-five and that's how we won the game. Mind readers, we used to be.

How often do you change your hairstyle?
I get it trimmed every four months or so. Every time I say, "can you give me, like, a shit ton of layers this time? Last time they only gave me, like, a bunch but I want an actual shit ton." And then they say, "gross." I decide to "try" bangs every eight months or so. It's always a bad idea.

Gosh. This post needs a photograph. I'll Google image the 15th word in this post, grab whatever picture looks interesting and then begin this post with it. You won't even get it until right here. Right now, at the very end. (The word was "bored", God that frog is huge.)

I love you, tonight. I feel like telling you that, reader.

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