A New Year's Determination II

I started reading the post that I wrote a year ago. So, that was a depressing idea. Some excerpts:

Can you believe that I'm 26 years old and I don't have a savings account? ... Resolution Number One: Get a savings account. --Didn't happen. Also, 26 doesn't seem as adult as it once did.

The other day, a guy came into the deli and I fell in love with him pretty quickly. --This wasn't a resolution, but this sort of activity hasn't subsided even a little bit.

Resolution Number Three: Work on the relationship between body and mind by being mindful of what enters the body. --In light of this, my alcohol intake has increased at least three-fold in 2010.

Maybe writing on this day should just be avoided all together, no? Am I in the business of doing things that I'll probably regret a year later (if not embarrassingly sooner)? Absolutely I am, so here we go!

Honestly, though, I really do hate the idea of "resolutions". So does everyone else, so with that in mind I'm not going to go on about it. But I do like the idea of self awareness. Looking at your life and seeing things that you want to end/ begin/ alter and then deciding that you are in-charge of yourself enough to make that happen. New Years resolutions are nice in that while many people look at their life as something that has happened to them, something they can't change, for a moment--for a day or even a few weeks they remember that they are the boss and they can do what they want. That's a good energy.

I resolve three things this year.

In 2011 I resolve to stop pretending. Don't know what I mean? For example I'm not going to pretend like this:

Wasn't my breakfast. Nor am I going to pretend like I'm supposed to feel ashamed of it. It was fucking delicious. I'm not going to pretend like I'm a little embarrassed that I say "fuck" too much. Because I'm not. It is the most versatile word in the entire English language. Don't believe me? I have a Mad Lib that I would like to submit to the court. Noun, adjective, location, best-fucking-verb-ever, It works. I'm not going to pretend like I didn't use my iTunes gift card to buy this song. I'm not going to pretend like you're not free to stop reading this at any time. Moving on...

I'm not a very good listener. I resolve to become a better listener. The other day my friend was telling me about his girlfriend and I was thinking, "I'm happy for my friend, how can I possibly convey that in words?" but I just kept saying, "Uh huh" in what is probably the most uninterested sounding tone. I'm a super communicator. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what words I'm going to use. And I interrupt because I get excited about having found those words. People don't punch me but self improvement would swift if they employed that tactic. Maybe that can be your resolution! Think about it.

My other resolution is a secret.

(Also, I didn't feel like editing my grammar or spelling so feel free to judge. I have it coming.)