A Day In The Life

Remember back when everyone Xanga'd and you'd log on at, like, 11:00 pm and you'd read everyone's entries that read like this:

"Today I woke up and I ate breakfast then i wento all my classes and hung out with my friends. We went to TCBY and I think i like teh chocolate flavor more then the white kind. Now I am home and i'm really upset that certain people think they can do certain things and not include other certain people and do you wanna read my terrible poem that i wrote about that incident. I'll write it at the end. it's been a long day and now i will go to bed oh wait but here's that poem i wrote it in the back of my algebra book so whoever buys this next year will totes know all my feeling."

It really was like that, only somehow it would be, like, a thousand words. Anyway, they pretty much all read like a typical day-in-the-life and so I'm going to harken the good ole days and tell you about my Sunday.

It started out that I was just kind of live-blogging, writing it all down when it was happening but then at some point I... I left my house, you guys! That happened. I did. It was a gorgeous day.

I woke up and crawled out of my bed at 7:30. After the preliminary, essential, and mostly unmentionable duties of waking up, I pulled on my little pants and a tunic and poured myself a gigantic glass of ice water.
8:15 Decide to blog about how truly uninteresting my life is--in real time!
8:16-9:30 Click around Facebook. Comment on comments. Look through someone's 115 photograph photo album of their wedding--someone I don't know and have never met but we have one friend in common and so I want to see how he looks in a bow-tie.
I went to the bathroom and exfoliated my super-dry hands using my St. Ives body polish (I recommend it to anyone who has skin as dry as mine). I sat on the edge of my bed and allergies were making my eyes itchy. I rubbed my eye and, carelessly, I scratched my eyeball with my fingernail. It hurt real bad. I let it water a bit and I thought that the irritation would go away.
I was hungry and so I wanted to make some breakfast. I looked online for a pancake recipe that used only ingredients that I had in my house. Then I cut that recipe in half, started streaming an episode of This American Life and put all my pancake stuff together. I made up a strawberry syrup and ate my breakfast with a fresh pot of coffee. It was delicious and my eyes kept watering and feeling hurty.
I kept listening to This American Life and opened the windows and laid on my couch and it was awesome but at around 1:00 pm, I decided to start looking around seeing if I had any eye drops. I knew I didn't have any but, you know, just in case.
I texted my neighbor/friend, Ryan, asked him if he had any eye drops. He went to the store to buy me some. When he showed up, I read the back. I didn't know what I was looking for but, you know, if it said something like "hey, don't put this in your eye or anything." That would be important to know. It said words like, "soothing" and "relief". So I dropped it into my eyeball. I clasped my hand to my eye and screamed and heard my friend reading the ingredients list on this bottle of Clear Eyes, "Huh... citric acid, [another kind of] acid." What? Various acids? In my eyeball? Cool. Well, now it's clear that my eye definitely has a cut in it and it's not that there's just an eyelash in an unreachable spot or something. Yep. My eye leaked but didn't hurt for the rest of the day. I just carried around a Kleenex and kept wiping.
Later, Ryan, wanted a corn dog so we went to Sonic and then to the park where he ate his foods and I drank a cherry limeade and we watched all of the adorable McPherson People do park things. They played croquet and swang on the swings, people walked their dogs and a guy laid on the ground and played with a baby. A kid flew a kite--I mean could there have been a more Sunday Afternoon at la Grande Jatte kind of day? Probably not.
We did not see Katie and Bill even though they were at the park at the exact same time as us, doing the exact same things as us, allegedly.
We came home. It was at this point that I lost all track of time and order of the day until I went to bed at 11:30. That's the beauty of Sundays. You don't even need to know what time it is.
From the bush in the back yard, I cut a dozen roses for my sister-in-law and a dozen for myself. We talked about her birthday. She's turning 30 this year and she gets a party. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be thinking about her but in the back of my mind I keep thinking about this dress that I would really like to buy and I'm wondering if I ordered it, would it be here in time for the party because if not, there's not much point in buying it because it's most certainly a wear-to-your-sister-in-law's-30th-birthday-party kind of dress. And then if it does come, will it be too short? And then I'm all talking myself up like, so what if it's too short? Pretend you don't notice. Own those chubby knees! And then I'm like, realistically though: no way.
So after that attention-divided conversation, I went back to my house. Ryan and I watched a documentary about Donkey Kong. It was awesome. Really, it was.
He cleaned his car with an attention to detail that I've never before witnessed first-hand.
I took out my garbage and Wet Swiffered the kitchen floor. It takes a lot of elbow grease to Swiffer my kitchen floor. And it never, never looks clean.
I don't remember everything else. My eye kept leaking, though.
At some point I consumed a Dilly Bar and it was incredible. At another point there was a walk to the corner store (there is, literally, a store on the corner) and we came home with gummy candy.
Last order of business, though, was watching two old episodes of The Office with the commentary. There are few things that I love the way that I love a good commentary.
And then I quickly made something to take for lunch the next day, made some plans with a friend to get together, washed my face, brushed my teeth and then I laid in bed where I journaled until I fell asleep.

It was one of those super incredible, unremarkable days.