Sunday, June 5, 2011

I will never stop being astounded by all that goes into being a person. I hope.

If I'm going to be totally straightforward with you, at this point in the day at this point in my week it's hard for me to come up with things that were awesome. But that's just the funk in which human people sometimes find themselves. I'm sure by the end of this, I'll be completely overcome with excitement. It's 9:30 am. I haven't had breakfast and I'm only 1/2 a coffee in. Give a girl a break and an American Spirit from the yellow pack and we'll be in working order. We'll try, anyway.

1. Garam Masala and Beautiful, Gracious Friends Who Are, Thankfully, Not Picky Eaters: I have been dying to make Indian food for years. At first I didn't have a kitchen that was my own. Then, when I did have a kitchen, I didn't have money to go about buying the extravagant ingredients that go into exotic dishes (turns out, there's really nothing expensive or extravagant about it). The hard part is finding the spices but after you have them, then you can do anything. And they're not expensive. I bought an ounce of garam masala at The Spice Merchant in Wichita and it cost me $.90. That's going to make several, several dishes. I made Indian Butter Chicken for my friends the other night. Despite the fact that this recipe was created by the British to be a little more on the mild side, and that's why I thought it would be a good introductory dish for me, it was still spicy as hell. I'm such a wimp. I have a delicate palate. But I'm going to just have to push through, the same way I learned to love beer and wine. Just drink it until you don't hate it anymore because this is something you want to do. Next up, we'll be experimenting with Korma. Ooooh, thrilling!

2. Louis C.K. and His Truly Graceful Ability to Extract My Thoughts Exactly (but express them in more coherent, if not impressively raunchy ways): I'm thinking about one bit in particular that I heard on but I can't find anywhere else on the internet and I'm not going to write about it because I'll ruin it so basically point number two was, essentially, worthless. Sorry. But you can watch this (which you should have already seen years ago) and then watch this and get a gist for what I'm talking about. It's old. It's not what I heard this week but it's true--which is, essentially, the point I came here to make, I guess.

3. Really, when I'm thinking about the things that I liked most about this week it comes to mind as a sort of mental montage of these intangible and difficult to describe, pleasant things. Not only are they difficult to describe but I sort of don't want to, anyway. I don't know if that happens to you or not. There are a lot of things in my life that I want to talk about. I am a self-proclaimed over-communicator. It's absolutely the case. I mean, I keep a blog. I don't post something every day but I assure you, I am constantly--constantly writing things in this internet machine. Most things I delete because they're not interesting to anyone but me.
But something new is happening in me and there are things that I don't want to ruin with words. Words are wonderful, beautiful things but they are not perfect. They are so limiting. So many things just can never be said. There are some things that no one will know except for me. Not secrets. I'll try, but only to suit as proof that it's impossible to capture.

A whole bottle of moscatto in, I'm in the purple chair in the corner and people are all around in my apartment. Snuggled on couches, surrounded by blankets and texture and indirect lighting and perched on folding chairs because we've run out of squishy places to sit. We're eating and laughing and sharing stories. I'm happy and delirious and floppy and my eyes can't focus on much for longer than half a second before they get bored and want to see something else. I glance across the room and my friend is looking at me--at my eyes and I can hold that gaze for a few quick seconds before I get embarrassed and look away. That--that quick bit in that extensive context: that's the kind of thing that you can't write about. That's the kind of thing you can't share because it's just something that only I know. And now I've cheapened it a little bit but only because you probably think you get it, and maybe you do a little bit but you don't get it like I do.
I didn't tell you about my favorite few seconds, though. There's a better one that I'm going to keep just for me.

I will never stop being astounded by all that goes into being a person. I hope.

1 comment:

Joyce Lighari said...

I guess we both missed a great opportunity when you were in Brookings - I make awesome Indian food and could have taught you - oh well... I never knew.

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