I'm watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I've seen it before, years ago, but I'm re-watching it. I'm only a few minutes in but I'm struck by this guy's character (and the delicious soundtrack). He's so shy. He wrote in his journal, "why is it that I fall in love with every woman who shows me the slightest bit of attention?" And when she was trying to get his attention on the platform, waiting for the train, he kept looking away.
And I was thinking about how this is the opposite of the kind of men that we are told to love. Growing up, we are told to seek out men who are strong and passionate. Men who take the lead and make the first move. Anything else will leave you pitiful and unsettled and unsatisfied.
But there are men in the world who are shy. There are men in the world who spend a lot of time in their heads and not a lot of time saying things. There are men who don't know where they're going or what they're looking for and should they be turned away on that account? Does he have to have his life figured out if I don't have my life figured out? Is that fair? Doesn't that just pass off the hard work onto him?
I have never had a crush on the type of man who is directive and stern and opinionated. I tend toward the shy, introspective types and I thought that was wrong for a really long time. It's not. I've recently found myself quite a bit in love with a pretty shy fellow. And you know, nearly everything he says to me is valuable. Some of it is BS but even that is nice.
There are women in the world with various personalities. Some of us are wild and impulsive. Some of us are quiet and passive. Some of us are quietly impulsive. But we're all different and we are all full to flowing with personality and value and humanity.
And men are like that too. Because humans are really quite beautiful things.