Saturday, January 2, 2010

"You don't have a clue what it is like to be next to you. I'm here to tell you that it is good."

This is something new for me.
I haven't journaled in a very long time (journaling being a daily, free-writing sort of situation as opposed to the theme-centered blogging--which I also do not to with strict regularity) and I have never done it in the mornings. When journaling is a habit of mine, it's most often a night-time recollection of my thoughts and feelings about my day. It can be so good to lie in bed at night and write, "today was the perfect day." Which I have done more often than I would have ever expected.
But AM journaling is a whole other scenario. It seems like it takes on a much more intentional and hopeful idea about the day.

Good January Morning.

I woke up a little over an hour ago and snoozed my alarm twice. This wasn't really because I didn't want to get up, it was mostly an experiment. I have a new cell phone that I use as an alarm clock. My new phone has this fancy feature that allows me to snooze just by waving my hand back and forth over the face of it. Very fancy stuff, my friend. I've never really been one to care about gadgets and features but when they're basically handed to me for agreeing to do something that I wanted to do in the first place--I'll take the free, cool upgrade. Anyway, I snoozed it twice and then found it hard to get out of bed anyway, because waking up to Metric is hard to do. I wanted to lay in my bed and jam in my jammies.

I came out of my cove, pet my cat and fed him. And today, the first day since Tuesday, he ate and so far, the first time since Tuesday, he hasn't vomited. Maybe we're coming out of this illness. I can tell that while it's been mutually miserable, it's been mutually beneficial. He seems to need me and I seem to have more patience and love for him. He's just a little kitty. And since my sister has more or less moved out of the house, both of us are quite lonely. He spends 40 hours a week here by himself and when I get home we both appreciate a good snuggle or fight. They say that pet-owners will live longer than those who live all by themselves (I will take this to also mean non-plant owners). After this week with Hammond, thinking that I'd lost him that one time, I can say that I realize that I do need him and I like him a lot. We're both learning to live with one another.

He sat on his perch while my body took me through a series of stretches, bends and twists. He tilted his head, confused as I stood there, body limp, rolling my head from shoulder to shoulder. It was good. I rarely do anything specifically for the benefit of my body. I rarely even acknowledge my body except when it is in the way--which is often, or when it is broken--which is rare. If I were my body, I would have gone on strike a long time ago. All that walking it does. All that one foot in front of the other business and not one ounce of appreciation. Not one intentional stretch. Not one thank you. Just potato chips. But the potato chips are for the feelings. Ice cream and coffee--for the feelings. Chicken and dark leafy greens (which are also delicious), now that's how I say thank you to my legs for carrying me around. They do work so hard and they do get very little credit. I will take this time to publicly declare my affection and appreciation for my legs. My tummy and I have an abusive relationship. It works so hard for me and until now, I have only hated him in return. Though he never gives up. Tonight I will thank my tummy with whole grain pasta and tomatoes. Fiber and lycopene.

And now I will finish my morning while getting dressed and singing whatever song comes up on my iTunes. This will most likely include a dance.

Happy, hopeful morning.

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