This Is How My Brain Works Every Sunday Morning

When I'm extra tired, my body seems to soak up all of the sleeps that it needs really quickly and then it wakes up in a better mood than it's had in weeks. So this morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, made a pot of coffee, and washed the few dishes in the sink before I came back to my bed and saw that it was only 6:30. But I'm not going to go back to sleep because I'm so lucky to live in the uppermost part of this house with a bedroom window that faces the rising sun and the light in here looks like honey and it's sweet.

In Looking For Alaska, John Green writes:
Like the way the sun is right now, with the long shadows and that kind of bright, soft light you get when the sun isn't quite setting? That's the light that makes everything better, everything prettier, and today, everything just seemed to be in that light.

And I can hear whatever bird that is that says, "who. whooooooo who. who." I don't hear that bird very often but it always reminds me of younger days when I lived in less populated areas. It reminds me of when we lived in Zenith and could run around all day long in nothing but our underwear. It was the life. I think my whole life I'll be trying to get back to that sort of place. Back to a place that you have to drive a ways to get to. Back to the place where you can leave your curtains open in the night time because there's no one to see into your home. Not for miles. Back to the place where you don't realize that there are things to complain about. We'd go out into the yard and dig holes and fill them with water and make little lego boats to try to float. But the holes always drained. Looking back, I love that this confused us. I never considered that the earth was as thirsty as we were in the summertime and kept drinking our entertainment. I remember that mom would let us stay outside until the sun began to set and we'd come into the house with dirt in so many surprising places. We'd eat dinner and watch the Cosby show. I remember crying and crying and crying the day that The Cosby show ended. I was going to miss The Huxtables. I thought they were my friends and I'd never see them again. I didn't know about reruns. I didn't know that the very next week they would play an old episode and that I would feel emotionally jipped (but also relieved).

Our dad worked at the local Co-op. There was a big tank-thing that was intended to be home to, probably, billions of gallons (keep in mind the disconnect between childhood perspective of size and realistic perspective) of chemicals or pesticides or something else that children should never be near. Before it could be filled, though, the tank (which was made of terribly thick plastic) fell off of the truck and cracked. Rendering it useless to its intended purpose. My dad brought it home, measured about 5 feet from the bottom and cut the top off. And that's how we got a swimming pool for free. Mom split a garden hose down the middle and ran it around the top so that we wouldn't cut our little arms and legs when we got in. We positioned it beneath our tree house so that we could, at times, jump from a dangerous height into not enough water. That shit would not pass inspection in any town where there were neighbors. But it was incredible.

But it wasn't a real pool and it didn't have an ordinary filtration system or, you know, chlorine or anything. It was really just a gigantic tub of water in the back yard with a spout at the bottom that we used to drain it. And unlike a real pool the fight against algae was a physical one that we loved to fight. Mom would strip us down and make us wear socks in the pool. And it was our job to scrub all of the slime off of the bottom using only our feet. She said it was part of owning your own pool. She said all the kids with pools in their back yard had to do this. We'd scrub and then drain all of the water out and then my mom would do her best to get in there and clean the mildew. From my adult perspective--that's truly disgusting and probably fifteen kinds of dangerous. As a little kid, it was a dream come true. We had dreams of keeping the water filled throughout the winter time, letting it freeze solid and then turning it into our own, personal ice rink. Oddly, that swimming pool only lasted for one summer. We thought mom was so mean for not letting us keep it for another year. From my grown up place, though, at an age that is not that far off from where my mother was when she was sending her kids out into a vat of green goo (which she probably hated to do--but are there other options that will preserve the single greatest aspect of their childhoods?)--I don't blame her one bit. She was a saint to put up with it for so many months.

Happy Sunday Morning.

I wish I had a picture of us when we were little to put here at the end of this post.

Ten on Tuesday on Time

From Roots and Rings as per usual (only this time I'm really doing it on a Tuesday because I'm working on a bigger post but it's taking time and because I've been up since about 5:00 am on account of my anxious brains and I feel like doing something that doesn't require all too much mind-power).

1. What colour are your toenails painted?
Get. This. It's a color by Pure Ice called (oh this is embarrassing), "No Means No." Which not only doesn't give you any idea of what color it is but it's pretty much called, "Good luck, try not to get raped!"

2. What colour are your fingernails painted?
OPI's Bogota Blackberry. Sounds exotic doesn't it? Yeah, it's not. (I don't care if my fingers match my toes... I haven't the energy to keep up with my toes on the regular.)

3. What is your favourite brand of nail polish?
I, honestly, buy the cheapest stuff that I can find. Usually that's Pure Ice or Petites from Walmart. I change my color often enough that I'm not interested in spending $7 on color (I don't even like spending $7 on a bag of frozen chicken breasts). Especially when it'll keep from chipping and staining if you apply base and top coat anyway and keep up with it.

4. As the norm, do you DIY your nails or get mani/pedis?
I would love a pedicure. I usually get one at the beginning of every summah but I didn't this year because there are much more important things on which to spend $30.

5. Have you ever had a gel mani? Do you recommend it?
I don't know what that is and I'm not interested enough to Google it as I've never had a manicure. So the answer is decidedly "no."

6. What is the last movie you watched on television? (TV, Netflix, Redbox, etc.)
Um... let me think about it. Oh yeah! Biutiful. It was lovely and honest and raw and it messed with my brains for days.

7. What is the last movie you watched in the cinema?
Bridesmaids. And before that it was Bridesmaids. First time I'd ever seen a movie twice in the theater.

8. Is there a movie that everyone talks about as if it is a classic but you haven’t seen?
I've been pretty active about getting a bunch of old classics in. Obviously I haven't seen them but I feel like Brokeback Mountain is one of those cultural classics that I should have seen but I haven't because I'm mostly uninterested in cowboys in general. Also American Pie--I should have seen it a million years ago as a passage into my late teens but I never did.

9. What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
And, of course, the answer is Elizabethtown.

10. Have you ever seen a movie and thought it was better than the book it was based on?
Yeah, that's actually a myth.

Maybe I'm a Goose

I went to Lakeside Park today. I sat on a bench facing the water just opposite of a group of waterfowl. There were little ducks perched all in a cluster facing the geese who were not sitting but kind of walking back and forth as though leading some sort of time-share seminar or Sunday School Class. When I sat down, they all sort of turned to look at me like I wasn't invited to the meeting but I sipped my coffee and watched as they ignored me and went about their business.

My brain has been scrambled for the past several weeks and it's all catching up to me. The second I woke up, I knew that I just needed to get out of my house. I needed to be out of my house and breathing some fresh air and soaking in sunshine and generally just being alone--somewhere else. I needed some sort of church. So I got a coffee and I sat cross-legged on a picnic table and breathed deeply and watched the ducks watch the geese and I listened to wind and I tried to evaluate my life. But I couldn't because I don't know what I want. I don't know what I don't want. I don't know what I need. So mostly I just sat there not thinking of anything.

I feel like I'm scared of a lot of things that other people fall into without any effort whatsoever. But I have been actively choosing to do things that are intimidating or relatively dangerous (nothing life-threatening) because I don't want to look back and say, "I never went swimming in a public pool because I'm grossed out by the thought of my own thighs even when I'm alone in my apartment." Or, "I never sang karaoke because what if I accidentally sang off key." Or, "I never let anybody hold my heart because I was scared they would drop it because it's getting heavy." So I have been actively going against my natural impulses. Sometimes it's the hardest thing for my body to do but exactly what my brain requires and so I go against my impulses. Every single ounce of instinct is saying, "get the fuck out of here" but the brain is saying "you can't go, this is good for us." And it is. But the thing about jumping is that you land every time. And sometimes you break something.

Two little kids and their grandma were walking up the path at the park. The ducks turned around to look at them only they didn't return to their business because the kids started throwing bread into the water. Without even a second's hesitation they all got in the water. The ducks with their vibrant colors and slim bodies flew and glided in with grace and started snacking on the bread pieces. The geese, though, waddled to the edge of the water and plopped themselves in like dumplings into soup. They swam over to the children and had their fill of bread as well.

And in the end, everyone got to eat.
And today, I'm going to the pool.

Being Broke is Free!

We're coming to the last day of a very broke couple of weeks, my friends. Food-wise we (I say "we" but we all know I'm the only one who lives in this house, unless you count Kiki and it's coming to my attention that every day she wants to live here less and less...) were down to scrounging the desperate section of the pantry. You know what I'm talking about. There are things in your cabinets and you don't know how they got there because there's no way you'll eat them. For me, that's a can of beanie weanies. And not even the fancy kind. As if I'd eat them either way. Luckily for me, I've been creative enough to eat everything else and blessed enough to have people who want to have me over for dinner. So--it's cool. But when you're down to a dollar fifty in your checking account (which you are actually quite proud of) and you have a day off, you have to come up with all sorts of things to entertain yourself.
Yesterday Katie made a vlog about all sorts of things you could do if you are broke. Today, I'm going to expand on that thought and tell you all about the free things that I did, today! Being broke--it costs no moneys.

1. You wake up and you want--nay, require coffee. Because coffee is the most delicious drug I've ever had. Unless you count liquor as a drug. For the past week I've looked at the coconut rum in my fridge and thought, "Oh! I'll put that in my coffee!" And then I remember that it's booze that I'm wanting to put in my coffee at 7:30 in the morning. Indicative of a problem? I don't do it, you guys. Anyway, I always need to put something into my coffee and due to the aforementioned empty-fridge syndrome, I was out of both coffee creamer and also milk. I wasn't actually out of milk, milk was expired. So I went on a hunt and I searched between couch cushions and in pen cups and piggy banks and in the car and I came up with the $1.20 it takes to leave the gas station with a big cup of coffee. What?? So, that wasn't free but it was still awesome.

2. Update your Favorites list on Etsy so that when your friends become overwhelmed with love for you--love that can only be satisfied by buying presents, they'll know exactly where to go for ideas. (I've asked for presents twice in one week... man, I just want new stuff) The fun part about adding stuff to your favorites list on Etsy is that it's exactly like online shopping! But it's free (and you don't get anything in your mailbox)! (Seriously, though, there's a pair of shoes on that list that I'm going to be saving up for. I wants them.)

3. Do your laundry! You haven't had a day off in a hundred years and you've only got a few pairs of unders left. Just do the laundry. It's not fun (especially when your brother pretty much convinced you that the basement is full of bats and then you sort of spooked yourself into thinking that there might be a snake in the washing machine) but it needs to be done and there's no better time. Plus, you love folding the laundry (once you really get around to it). I'm out of laundry detergent, now, though so that next load won't be free anymore. But I'm excited about the new design of the Cheer label--so I'm going to buy it. That's how I make my decisions.

4. Consider a hobby. Perhaps cross stitch? People have been trying to teach me to knit/ crochet for years and years but everyone has given up. Maybe I can learn how to cross stitch or something. I want an old lady hobby. This activity did not take long.

5. Browse Tastespotting and come up with a shopping list so that you can make the delicious creations. You have to eat anyway, you might as well eat awesome stuff. For the record, next week I'll be making Pasta with Shrimp and Artichokes and also vegetarian (read: primarily black bean and avacado) tacos this week so anyone who wants in on any of that is more than welcome.

6. Learn how to Dougie. You can learn to do anything via YouTube. What existed before YouTube existed? How did people know how to tie their hair into fancy knots or dance or apply liquid eyeliner or cut their own hair? (I learned all of these things--today, alone!) Do not tape yourself Dougieing (which is, I assume, the correct way to say it?) but do take photographic evidence. Try to Dougie to every song that pops up on the internet radio to which you subscribe. Admit that, in fact, it's difficult to do any type of dance while Super Bass is playing but that might be because you are seriously friggin' impressed with Nickie Minaj. Anyway, photographic evidence of mein dancing efforts:

7. Utilizing another YouTube tutorial, cut your own bangs. Like a boss.


8. Blog about it all.

9. Then do the dishes for the same reasons outlined in the bit about laundry. But with totally different downsides.

Dear Bruno Mars,

When did we first meet, Bruno? I think it was when you sang that darling little melody, "I wanna be a billionaire so fuckin' bad..." And, let's be honest, it was pretty endearing. I hadn't seen a boy like you since Michael Jackson and young, young Little Richard made that seemingly scientifically impossible love child. You were cute but if we're being completely honest, and that's what this letter is--an exercise in honest feelings, I think that a lot of my love for you was run-off appreciation from this insatiable crush I've had on Travie McCoy since before he dated Katy Perry. Bruno... I think you're like the friend of a friend that started hanging out with our group and then never really left even though everyone only likes you for a little while. Is that okay to say? You're nice and all. You're even funny and entertaining but you're kind of an attention junkie. My guess would be you're the youngest in your family. When this is over I'm going to Wiki that to see if I'm right.

So, yeah, there was Billionaire and I couldn't get enough of that. In fact, I kinda would like to hear it again right now. But I won't do that because it's going to distract me. But then you did that song with B.o.B and I thought it was still a little bit flattering and a little bit fun and because I was clearly going through an adorable hip-hop stage. But, lyrically--and I know this isn't all your fault--kind of pretty cheesy. "No matter where I'm at--girl you make me wanna sang. Whether a bus or a plane or a car or a train--no other girl's on my brain and you're the one to blame." Really? Yeah? While we're at it, would you like us to put our hands in the air like we just don't care? But I let you have it because you're the friend of a friend (who doesn't seem to be hanging out that much anymore and yet you're still showing up at my house when I really just want to sit down with a bag of chips and watch reruns of Wings without anyone there looking at me) and I will mock you a little bit behind your back but for the most part we're still friends.

And then you started putting out your solo stuff on the radio. I will admit that this was a great way to market yourself, you know? Give everyone a little bit a little bit at a time and then when they're hungry for you--what? Overpower them with your flavor?! Sheesh. You came fresh out the gate in a frenzy! You were singing about how pretty I am and that was adorable the first time and only the first time. Because then I started paying attention to the words and now I'm that pissed off girlfriend who has no right to be pissed off because you're trying to be nice but the more that you talk the more you just sound like a dick.

"Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying." Actually, Bruno, I've been glued to youtube tutorials, blow drying and producting the shit out of my hair to make it look like I didn't try at all. But it's cute that you think that.
"She's so beautiful and I tell her every day." Well, hon, you see "beautiful" should really be reserved for maybe the specialist most "damn girl" kind of times. "Beautiful" is a little over the top, don't you think? And "amazing"? Is "amazing" the word you're going to choose to stick with every day? You're amazed? Last week I farted in the car. Did you forget that? No, Bruno, no, I'm not mad I'm just--I don't think you get it. That's all. Thank you. Thank you for thinking I'm beautiful. Every day.
"If perfect's what you're searching for, then just stay the same." See, perfect is kind of on the same page with "beautiful" and "amazing". So... can we just go with "you look pretty today?" Or maybe, "you smell nice?" or "it's cool that you didn't fart in the car, this time." I don't know. Let's just try to be realistic.
"Don't even bother asking if you look okay--you know I'll say you're amazing just the way you are." Gaah! So what you're saying is that I shouldn't even ask because you already have this stock answer that you're always going to use no matter what? You don't think I look beautiful you're just saying it! You're saying, what? Like, you're tired of having to tell me how perfect and beautiful and amazing I am every friggin day even though it bugs the hell out of me that you do so? I mean geeez! You know, I never even asked. I am still not even sure how much I like you. We're so breaking up.

Then I get this email from you a few days later and you're all, "Easy come. Easy go. That's just how you live. Take take take it all but you never give."
Bruno, that's just not fair! We weren't clicking! I--I'm sorry that I didn't know you were so in love with me. Two weeks ago you were just a friend of a friend who has, since, moved far away. I haven't heard from him in so long and you're over all the time.
"Should have known you was trouble from the first kiss. You had your eyes wide open. Why were they open?"
Well, if you must know, they were wide open because you came at me from out of nowhere with your "beautiful" and "amazing" talk and you were just, like, on my face. I was taken by surprise. And so what if sometimes I like to kiss with my eyes open? That's my prerogative. You should try it. Not all the time, obviously, that's strange.
"Tell the devil I said, 'hey' when you get back to where you're from." Wha? What? I just--you. That's not fair! I'm a nice girl.
"Darlin' I'd still catch a grenade for you!" You don't need to do that. I'd never ask you to do that. And I can't imagine that I'll ever be anywhere near a grenade. So let's just take that off the table.
"I'd throw my hand on a blade for you." Unnecessary. Really.
"I'd jump in front of a train for you." Yeah, now, that's just going to kill us both.
"I would die for you, baby. But you won't do the same." No. I won't. Because that's unrealistic. I barely know you and you've been kind of cute for the majority of our relationship but mostly really irritating. You're all over the place. You have a bouffant. You are on all of the radio stations. You're going to wear yourself out. Just calm down. Just calm the heck down. Take a day off.
"But darlin' I'd still catch a grenaaaade for you!!"

And then I didn't hear from you for a few days and that was nice. Until I checked my inbox and there was this video that you'd obviously shot in your bedroom with a webcam. So you did take a day off and write a song about how you're going to spend the day masturbating and learning how to Dougie. I know that you want me to feel like you're over us and I really hope that you are but I guarantee that you'll release something new in two weeks. Find true love, Bruno. Go forth. There are plenty of girls who would LOVE for you to impose self-harm on their behalf.

"Oh my god, this is great."

My Break Up with Netflix

Oh my goodness! There is controversy and hurt feelings run amok all over the interwebs regarding the way that Netflix changed their prices. Outrage in the village, people! And, yeah, I did decide to cancel my subscription and, yeah, it did happen to coincide with said price changes but it really didn't have to do with them. Well, I guess maybe it did a little bit but not by much.

This is more a piece about how I go through phases. I'm sure you do, too? I'm only sure of that because all of my siblings do. My older brother goes through phases that are years and years and years long so maybe that's not so much a "phase" as much as an ever growing and expansive personality which might just be the right way to go about it. But the mind wants what it wants and my mind needs constant changing stimulation. But I go through phases. They're generally six months long or so. I go through healthy eating and regular exercise phases followed up by I'm-so-excited-about-cooking-things. I go through phases where I'm going to write every day--no matter what. This is subsequently followed by "What's the point? I'ma write only when I feel inspired because then everything will be gold! (no it won't)" I went through a meditation phase... it lasted about ten minutes (spread out over the course of a week). And then I go through rotating movie/ books phases. Those are really the only ones that are consistent. I know that if I'm going through a watch all of the movies phase, then I will inevitably stumble upon one good looking book review in Real Simple Magazine and then bum rush the library.

Did I just use the phrase "bum rush" appropriately? Probably I did not.

I had a professor in college who was from India. She was sweet and oftentimes unreasonable but definitely sweet and she would say things in a unique way. Like instead of saying, "I probably did not use "bum rush" correctly," she would say, "Probably I did not use "bum rush" correctly." Only I'm about a thousand percent certain that Shanti would never use "bum rush" under any sort of circumstance. Anyway, what started out as casual mockery (much like my use of the word "totes" and also "LOL") quickly morphed into my everyday vernacular. So... now I totes put "probably" into weird places in a sentence. Now you know. Do you love it? Probably it bugs the hell out of you like it did me. (Also, most of her "v" sounds came out as "w" sounds and you should have seen the look of confusion on our faces the first time she asked us to "identify the werb". It was mostly awesome but there was always that anxious self-doubt where you're wondering "is this the accent thing or just a word that I've never heard before...")

So now I'm going through a reading phase. I joined the adult summer reading program at the McPherson Public Library (because I am middle-aged and trying to fill my time since the Empty Nest Syndrome has set in) and it's forcing me to read a bunch of genres that I am not instinctively drawn to. I like that. I'm reading Latin American lit right now and, frankly, I'm feeling a little saucy. Also, I've been talking about starting up a local book club. I think my little town is in need of one and maybe as the summer comes to a close, then I'll seriously try to get one started if people are interested. I know I'm interested. I really miss talking about stories with people who have all read the same thing.

So anyway, Netflix, all that to say that's why I left you. I can almost guarantee that I'll come back to you at some point. But when I cancelled my subscription, you gave me this little questionnaire to fill out about why I was leaving. I checked the boxes that kind of worked for my reasons but it wasn't enough. You were like, "are you leaving me for Amazon? Hulu Plus?? You know you have to pay for that, too! Those bitches." But that's not it, Nettie, baby, honey, shhh... there's no one else. It's just--you're not it for me right now. Not, now. And I know you're going to send me occasional emails begging for me to return to you--and maybe I will. I get lonely sometimes at night.

And I really don't mind spending $7 a month to have you send dvd's to my house as often as I like. I really don't. Seven dollars is a steal! And if I ever streamed movies on my computer, then the new $15 price for both is still a really great deal! It is. It's just that if I'm absolutely not using this service, then I'm going to save my $7 and give it to Applebees in exchange for a sangria in a glass the size of a small fish tank. It's nothing against you. I just have priorities and those priorities involve Chuck Palahniuk and liquor. But it's not Hulu Plus. I promise, I'll never pay to stream a movie onto my laptop. That's just stupid.

Do you go through phases? Do you want to join my book club? Are you butt hurt because Netflix wants to charge you $4 more than you paid last month?

On Flying, Cottage Cheese, and One Reference to the 1995 Disney Film Pocahontas

I haven't done one of these in a few weeks because the questions didn't pertain much to me. But I'm doing it today because I was feeling so hungry to write something--anything at all and I was so our of things to say and I actually like most of these questions. It's good for a Wednesday, yeah? One day I'll give you something meaningful and deep and also hilarious. Something that will make you say, "Wow... that girl. I wanna make love to her brains." But that day won't be today.

So, as usual, I'm going to be straight with you and say that Ten On Tuesday is not my idea, I steal it every time from Roots and Rings. It's just a fun idea as I love answering questions about myself. A little self centered? Absolutely I am.

1. When you are on a plane and the kid behind you is kicking your seat, what do you do?
Twenty-seven years old and I've never been on an airplane. Except that one time when I was very little, my dad's friend owned a plane and he took us up in it and I cried the whole damn time. I was afraid we'd get sucked into outer space. Also my brother tried to climb out of the window.

2. What food that you KNOW is bad for you and you shouldn’t have, but you love/eat it anyway?
All of the things? Cottage cheese and sour cream are two things that I don't allow myself to keep in my refrigerator because it is weird how much I love them. Also Ruffles brand potato chips.

3. What is your favorite book of all time?
This question again... To reiterate: there is no "favorite book of all time" so I will ask a similar question. That question is "what book on your shelf have you read more times than any other book on your shelf?" The answer is, Ash Wednesday by Ethan Hawke. Do you want to hear him read some of it? Here. It's funny to hear a boy read from a female narrator's perspective. Ethan Hawke looks like someone's little brother.

4. If I came to visit you in your town, where would we eat?
Oh my goodness, we would go to Amics. Doy. It's pretty much my most favorite place in this whole town. I don't go often, though, because the hours don't really always fit with my schedule and also because I want to keep it a special treat. I like how there's a place in town where feta--so much feta is an option but a double bacon cheeseburger is not.

5. You have 500 dollars and 40 minutes to spend it at any store you want. Where do you go?
Urban Outfitters for new bedding that I've had my eye on for a while now. My bed is a full-size, everyone. Christmas in July is just around the corner. I'd spend the rest of the money on other things to make my apartment awesome. Like this rug and these curtains and this bag.

6. What blog do you read every day/the most often?
Katie's. Because she updates every single day. Also, I read The Bloggess every time that she updates because it's nothing if not life-changing.

7. What’s the longest you’ve ever been stuck at an airport?
While I, myself, have never been on an airplane, in college I was absolutely the guy that everyone asked to drive them to the airport. I friggin' loved it. I never had to wait long, though, I was usually late. Inconvenient? Maybe. Free parking? So much yes.

8. What’s your daily makeup/face/cleansing routine?
Wash face. Moisturize with this! I love it. It's a mattefying moisturizer which is incredible for people (even boys) who have normal to slightly oily skin (me) who live in places where the temperature has no qualms about reaching 110 on an average day (here). Apply powder. Apply eyeliner. Apply mascara. Tinted lip balm. Now you're totes ready to go about your day without that gross, greasy feeling and absolutely zero upkeep.

9. Where is your farthest away friend?
Jamie lives in South Korea. I could tell you exactly where but, and this is going to sound so ethnocentric of me, *whispers* it all kind of looks like gibberish to me so I have no way of telling you. But it looks delightful from the pictures!
Jamie cartoon blogs about being a foreigner. Can we say expat? Is that accurate? I like that. I wanna expat one day.

10. Where is your favorite place to go hiking (or to enjoy nature)?
I went to a mountain, once, in Colorado. That was nice.
Honestly, though, I don't go to places! As much as I want to--I want to, I don't. I live in Kansas. I has a job. I have no vacation time (yet). Geez, this just whole survey just makes me sound far less adventurous than my spirit really is. Trust me, my spirit is adventurous and exciting and progressive. My spirit is, like, constantly singing Colors of the Wind.

Ya dig?